First Kiss (Sweet N' Sour Kisses Read online

  I held my breath, and tried hard not to tremble.

  He held out a fancy see-through balloon that said, Happy 16th Birthday.

  I smiled and laughed unable to believe what was happening.

  I reached for the balloon only to see that attached at the bottom of the string was a giant cookies-and-cream chocolate bar—my favorite. He hugged me and then gathered up the other fifteen balloons and bundled them together for me.

  With a huge grin, he said, “Happy Birthday, Beautiful.”

  I could hardly contain the bubble of excitement that shot through me. “Thanks, Luke. This is incredible!”

  “I’m glad you like them.” He cocked his head to the side.

  I took the balloons from him. To my surprise, he kissed my hand then said, “Seven sharp!” before taking off.

  Heat burned my face. I looked around. Everyone was staring at me. No one but my parents had ever given me something at school for my birthday. It felt really great. How could he be terrible if he did stuff like this? The girls from swim team must just be jealous. I could definitely live with getting pampered like this all the time. I pulled the balloons to the side, exposing Tate and Zack, who stared at me and the balloons, sheepish expressions on their faces. They shuffled toward me and each gave me a yellow rose.

  “Thanks, guys.” I gave them both a big hug. “They’re beautiful! I love them.”

  They eyed the mass of balloons floating next to me. “He likes to show off,” I said. I thought I needed to say something so they wouldn’t feel stupid. “What am I supposed to do with them all day? Thanks for keeping it simple.” A brightness popped up in their faces.

  They helped me get all the balloons through the door and I stuffed them into Ali’s trunk before we headed off to Taco Time for lunch.

  The swim meet was held at our school’s pool—the one we practice in every day—right after school got out. I wished I didn’t have to compete. Knots spread through my back as I waited for my turn. My nerves always got the better of me at swim meets. I’d either freeze or freak out. I’d left several meets due to my crazy nerves. I knew I wasn’t really good and hated to look that way. I swam in two events: 200 backstroke and the 200 Medley relay. The backstroke was one of the first events and the relay one of the last, so I couldn’t even sneak out early. I was already breathing fast and hard as I waited for my event to come around. Only two more and then I would have to go out and make a fool of myself. Now just one more.

  Coach came next to me and said, “Do your best. Push it.” As he walked away, I bent over and tried to breathe normally. My mind filled with an incessant buzzing and I felt completely sick. I was going to puke I just knew it.

  A hand brushed my arm. I looked over. Ryker? I shot up.

  “You know, when I’m feeling especially nervous, I listen to this.” He put his headphones in my ears. Adrenaline pumping music filled my ears. I frowned, confused—this was supposed to be calming? But Ryker held up his hand, signifying I should wait, so I closed my eyes and listened. To my surprise, the pounding beat gave me a rhythm to follow—my breathing slowed, and my pulse with it. After a minute or two, I opened my eyes and smiled my thanks at Ryker. They called my event. He carefully removed the music. I moved forward and stood next to my starting lane, waiting for the signal that we could drop into the water.

  You can do this!

  I tried to focus on the crystal clear water. The buzzer sounded, and I dropped into the water. It was freezing, like it always was at first splash. I looked up, getting into position, and saw Ryker looking down at me. He gave me a thumbs up.

  A calm wave seemed to wash over me. This would be my race.

  We got into position and the horn sounded. I burst out, pushing past what I thought were my limits. Completely out of breath and full of deep satisfaction, I hit the wall. I wasn’t first, but I came in second which was the closest to winning I’d ever been.

  Thanks for watching, Ryker. I did a backward summersault in the water to celebrate.

  I was pretty darn proud when my team surrounded me and congratulated me. That was a first. Even Coach B congratulated me. I thought I should maybe try harder from then on. That felt good. Maybe even better than cheering and dancing. Swimming was the hardest thing I’d ever done and to be successful at it was exhilarating.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Luke and Ryker spring into the water for one of their events. I slowly made my way to a spot where I could watch. Ryker and Luke were neck and neck for much of it, but then on the last turn, Ryker broke away and won. Luke came in second. I wanted to scream out to congratulate them, but I held it in instead. I couldn’t let Luke know I was excited for Ryker—Luke didn’t like to be second.

  I was sitting in Parker’s massage line when Luke came over and finessed his way behind me. He gave a great massage. “You excited for your relay?”

  “Sure,” I lied, the euphoria from my good showing in the first event was wearing off, and the nerves were starting to get to me again.

  “Well, this will get you loose. Looks like we’ve got about fifteen before you go in.” His breath tickled the tiny hairs on my neck. “You excited about tonight?”

  “Heck yeah!” I said. I wanted to ask him about my text, but there were too many people close enough to overhear our conversation.

  “Are you having a good birthday so far?”

  Excitement fluttered in my chest. “Thanks to you, yes.” I looked back at him.

  He smiled. “I can’t tell you how happy that makes me. I know you’ll do great on your relay. It’s your birthday, luck is on your side.” I wished I could believe him.

  It turned out that Luke was wrong. We came in third to last. When I got out of the water, he hugged me. “Better luck next time. You’ll see,” and he walked me to the girls’ locker room.

  “Don’t you want to stay and watch my relay?” He gave me puppy dog eyes.

  “I think you’d rather I was smashing for our date, right? It’s not like all I have to do is shower, like you.”

  “Good point. See ya, tonight!”

  Chapter 4

  “Brooklyn, you’re a genius,” my sister said at dinner. “No vegetables at dinner should be a birthday tradition!” She grinned at me and shoved a huge forkful of my mom’s delicious chicken into her mouth. I smiled back, but my mind was skipping ahead to tonight. When I’d gotten home, I’d tied the balloons Luke had given me to the railing just inside the door so he’d see how much I loved them. They kept bobbing in and out of my line of sight, ensuring I wouldn’t think of anything but Luke until the date.

  I put my fork down. “May I be excused?”

  “Honey, you barely ate anything!” My mom said. “Didn’t you like it?”

  “Of course, Mom, just, you know—nerves.”

  She smiled knowingly and excused me from the table with a nod. I ran downstairs to get ready. Fun shivers coursed through me. My first date. He wouldn’t really try to kiss me. He liked me too much to rush me, right? He had been teasing me with that text, trying to make me nervous.

  I stared into my closet, trying to decide what to wear. I’d already decided to forego the swimsuit Luke had suggested. If he wanted to throw himself into freezing cold water and then walk back down a mountain dripping wet, that was up to him, but count me out. Thoughtfully, I assembled my outfit. It would be chilly, so I had to wear a hoodie. I chose one of my newer ones, so I wouldn’t look shabby, but not so new that it would look dorky. Luke had said the hike was pretty easy, so I slipped on skinny jeans, a long-sleeved T-shirt, and a pair of Converse. I straightened my hair and put diamond stud earrings in.

  I got a text from Ali.

  Have fun with the kissing machine.

  LOL, I texted back.

  After pressing send, a hollow feeling landed in my gut. The voices of Hanna and Makenna filled my mind. Was I making a mistake by going on this date? Would something terrible happen? Was I in danger? Would he try to kiss me? If I kissed him, that would mean we were boyfrie
nd-girlfriend and I wasn’t ready for that. I didn’t plan on having a boyfriend until college. No exclusivity for me. No. We couldn’t kiss. I had to date lots of guys.

  My heart threatened to leap from my chest. What was I going to do? Should I have cancelled the date already since I never got the chance to talk to Luke about him wanting to kiss me? My phone vibrated again. The text was from Luke. Only four letters.

  XOXO.

  My hands shook and the feeling of utter panic raced through me. What was I doing? I really should have canceled the date and not let balloons and smiles and hugs sway me.

  I shoved the phone into my pocket, suddenly so angry at him for making me feel this way. I was just so uncertain. I took a deep breath and tried to still my thundering heart, then headed upstairs.

  As soon as my mom saw me she grinned devilishly. “This is going to be so funny. I’ll answer the door when Luke gets here,” she gestured toward the door, down a short flight of stairs, “and you stay up here. You can watch if you like. Dad will be cleaning his gun at the dining room table when I bring Luke up to meet him.” She laughed cheerfully.

  I didn’t join her. I wrung my hands and stopped in front of my mom. “Mom, I’m so nervous. Don’t make me go.” I seriously needed a good excuse. What was happening anyway? This isn’t how my first date ever was supposed to go. I didn’t feel any magic. I felt like I was in a horror movie. Where were the butterflies, the anticipation?

  “Oh, Brooke, you’re just nervous. Take deep breaths. I thought you liked this boy.”

  I thought I did, too. Why this scary feeling?

  “This is more than nervous, Mom. I can hardly breathe.” I grabbed onto the table and set my head down, breathing fast and shallow.

  “Well, breathing like that isn’t going to help matters. Sit down and take deep breaths. Enjoy the moment.” She had an exasperated tone. The same one she always got when I let my fears take over. I wished I could tell her this was different. I wasn’t just panicking. I thought I might have a real reason to be afraid.

  I didn’t want to tell them what those girls had told me about Luke yesterday. It was totally embarrassing. I’d keep my humiliation to myself. Could I trust what those girls had said anyway? None of them had been nice to me or welcomed me when I joined swim team. They never talked to me, for that matter. Were they just jealous? Luke went to church. He had to be a good guy. Maybe my mom was right. Maybe I was overreacting. It was a group date anyway, no one would kiss and make out in front of the group, right? But, what about the texts?

  I sat on a seat next to my mom and tried to do as she suggested.

  “You always seem to work yourself up over the silliest things. You’re not getting married. You’re just going on a date with a nice young man who obviously adores you enough to plan a group date on your birthday. Look at those balloons and the way he gave them to you. Don’t make it a bigger deal than it is. It’s only a date.”

  I scrambled to come up with a likely excuse. “Yeah, Mom. But this is my very first date, ever. I’m going to be with a boy, and I don’t even know what to talk about, what to do. I’m going to make a fool out of myself.” I lay my head on the table and sighed loudly.

  “So, girls feel the same way guys do, huh?” my dad said, laughing softly.

  I jerked my head up. “What?” I scrunched my nose in confusion.

  “I assure you, guys feel much of the same feelings before a date as you do. I remember many times I thought I’d faint walking up to a girl’s door to pick her up. Shoot! I almost fainted waiting on your mom’s doorstep for her to open the door. I wanted her to like me so bad. I didn’t think I’d be able to stand it if she didn’t.”

  My mom laughed. “And I was on the other side of the door hoping you’d think I looked pretty, and that I wouldn’t make a fool of myself because I liked you so much.”

  She patted my back. “What you’re feeling right now is normal. Try to enjoy yourself. Don’t let your nervousness make you shy, either. Be yourself.”

  “I can’t be,” I whined. “What if he tries to kiss me?” My true fear escaped.

  “He won’t. Why would he? It’s your first date.”

  “Because that’s what kids do these days, and I don’t want him to be my first kiss.” I leaned back in my chair. “I should have cancelled this date.”

  “Don’t be silly. He’s not going to try anything. Your dad will scare the pants off him. He’ll be too afraid to even hold your hand.”

  “I don’t think so, Mom. He’s a senior. He’s dated a lot.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Everyone says so and besides, he’s the most popular guy on the team. He’s probably dated all the girls.” When I said it, it rang true to me. What could she say to that?

  “Well, he knows your standards, right?”

  “I think so…I don’t know!” I’d told him. He just didn’t seem to understand me.

  “Well, there’s a group of you. Stay with the group. Nothing can happen if you all stay together. There’s safety in numbers.” My mom smiled at me.

  How had I gotten myself into this mess? I shook my head. Could she be right? A deep hollow ache sat in my gut. It was a feeling I knew all too well. It guided me like a friend or maybe like a loving father. Whenever I contemplated doing things I shouldn’t, the ache hit me. That’s how I most often gauged what I should or shouldn’t do. My mind raced, and I couldn’t find peace. I should listen to the feeling and cancel the date.

  At that moment, the doorbell rang. I jumped, dread spreading out from my gut. I looked at my mom giving her my best help me eyes. She helped me all right. She got up and answered the door. I couldn’t blame her. I should have told her the whole truth. Then she wouldn’t think I was just overreacting.

  Not knowing what to do, I ran into the bathroom and looked at myself. Was it too late to refuse the date? I was a strong girl. I could stand up for myself. I said a little prayer in my head as I heard voices through the wall. I couldn’t make out what they said. While I felt a bit calmer, I would not find the peace I was hoping for.

  What was I doing? Why couldn’t I just go out there and tell him I wasn’t feeling well— because I certainly wasn’t. I wouldn’t be lying and heck, did he want to go out with me if I was feeling like this anyway?

  I pushed out a rush of air and pulled the bathroom door open. Still holding onto the door handle, I closed my eyes and took a big breath in. I’d just tell him I wasn’t feeling well. That was the answer. There was still time. A ray of warmth pierced my heart as I made the decision, and I knew it was the right one. Peace flooded my body until I saw him talking to my dad.

  My dad held the gun up for Luke to see and said, “Yeah, I’m sure you’ll take good care of my little girl.”

  Luke’s face seemed to pale for a split second before it flashed back to its normal honey brown color. “You bet I will, Mr. Hamlin.” He caught sight of me. His eyes flamed and he smiled. In that moment, my resolve weakened. I looked at him standing there next to my dad, smiling that sweet smile, and I suddenly wasn’t sure. I remembered how I’d felt when he’d invited me on the date, and then again how amazing it was when he gave me the balloons at school. He’d made me feel special. He’d gone to all this effort, just for little old me.

  My mom and dad had said it would be ok. Ali had said it would be ok. This was just me freaking out, like the swim meet—like usual, really. I just needed to get it together and face my fears like mom had said.

  Besides, my dad had pretty much threatened his life if he didn’t treat me well. Plus there were two cars full of kids our age going on the hike. Hikes weren’t romantic and there were at least ten kids to chaperone us. I was silly to be afraid. My mom was right as always. I’d go. I’d just be smart about it. We’d stay with the group. I’d be okay. I smiled shakily and took a nervous breath. That knot in the pit of my stomach was still there, but I ignored it. Everything was going to be fine. I was just being ridiculous.

  Luke opened the door for
me. That was a good sign. He was acting like a true gentleman. Maybe things would be okay. A couple I didn’t know sat in the rear seat. They looked older than me. They were talking and didn’t seem to notice me. Great. A couple for sure. Would they make out the whole time? The music was blaring and if I asked who they were, they wouldn’t hear me. Luke climbed in and immediately started singing to the music after giving me a wink. We drove to the canyon only five minutes from my house. This was it. There was no turning back now. My stomach seemed to turn to a hard rock. Please, please let him be a good guy.

  I’d never hiked Adam’s Canyon before, even though it was so close to my house. Truthfully, I wasn’t super outdoorsy—I liked movies and music and sitting around. Dance and swimming took all my energy. My remaining time was for relaxation—precious time. I realized that dating might just cramp my style.

  I waited like a good little girl for Luke to open my door and help me out. He and the other couples from both cars congregated in front of Luke’s car and I sat there. Should I get out? Had he forgotten me? Did boys not open doors for girls when they arrived at the place of the date? I stared at him, feeling more and more stupid as time passed. Then, with a touch of mercy, he looked my way. Finally.

  But, instead of coming to get the door, he motioned for me to join them. I guess chivalry was dead. I pulled on the handle, but it was locked and I didn’t know how to unlock it. I thought about climbing over to the driver’s seat. Certainly there were controls there. I started to slide over there when Luke noticed I was having a hard time. He raised his eyebrows and came over to the passenger side and tried the door. It wouldn’t budge.

  “Oh,” he mouthed. “Sorry,” and ran around the front of the car and unlocked the driver’s side door. “Ah, Brooklyn, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize I’d locked you in.” He pushed a button on the door and the lock clicked open. He ran over to my side and opened the door.

  “I should have done that in the first place,” he said, pulling me into a hug. “I usually do.”